I think people build up this cinematic moment in their minds when they fantasize about leaving a job they no longer find satisfying. When I quit my job a year ago it wasn’t some overly dramatic scene like something you’d see in a movie. While Jerry Maguire didn’t technically quit, who wouldn’t want to walk out of the office shouting “who’s coming with me!” My departure began and ended with a conversation. A calculated discussion that, while spontaneous that day, was one I had been planning for a long time. It just hadn’t felt right until that moment. Once the words were out of the bag, there was no turning back.
It’s February 4th, 2021. Exactly one year after that fateful conversation. A year into life as an entrepreneur and a year into a pandemic. As I’m turning 50 in a few weeks, I have a great deal to be grateful for and just as much to be excited about. Here are some big lessons learned over the last 365 days of quitting my job and starting my life.
One of the first things that needs to be said is that my journey of “quitting my job to start my life” is not so much a story about leaving an unfulfilling job to pursue one’s passion. It would be wildly irresponsible of me to suggest that. And, while I am pursuing the things I love to do, my story is more about honouring myself, getting healthy, setting boundaries, making priorities, and doing a whole lot of deep reflection and soul searching along the way.
Quitting your job to start your life is simply a metaphor for making the decision to place your health and well-being at the centre of your experience. It’s about acknowledging that you do have a choice and that you do have what it takes to make it “out there.” Out there being the vast unknown of what’s next. That may apply to your job, a relationship, an unhealthy habit or anything in your life that no longer aligns with your identity, core values, or the vision you have for your future.
To the many people who have reached out asking me about my journey, as well as to share sage advice, there’s one thing I always say: You are exactly where you are supposed to be and you are enough.
Meditate on that for a moment. Accepting and embracing where you are right now can be tough to come to grips with. For me, this was the beginning of accepting not just my situation, but the role I’ve played in how I got here. And, while it’s hard to look in the mirror sometimes, it’s essential in taking those all-important baby steps towards where you want to go next. This is part of the process of empowering oneself to develop the courage to make a change and truly believe that you have what it takes to see it through.
I’ve learned more in the past year about myself than I have in a long time. Partly because of context – quitting my job, a pandemic, my age, my health – but more so due to being open to the experience and the lessons that are ever-present. One doesn’t have to quit their job to experience this, but change can be wonderfully cathartic. Here are some big takeaways from the past year:
1. Personal health and well-being have to be our number one priority. For me, the stress and anxiety caused by a job, a boss, or the lure of financial gain, will never again take precedence over my physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Ever.
2. Own it. All of it. I have to own my actions and behaviours, good or bad, in order to move forward from a place of authenticity. This involves a great degree of personal vulnerability and accountability.
3. Embrace who you are. All of who you are. Your beauty and your imperfections. This is what makes you, YOU. Taking the steps I’ve taken requires me to love who I am – the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is foundational to building confidence and self-esteem. When you look in the mirror and see those wrinkles, think Wabi-Sabi!
4. Let it go and breathe. I had no idea how powerful this could be. It’s the salve I’ve been looking for my entire life. I feel better just writing these words. Try it. Close you eyes, take a deep breath and whisper to yourself “letting go.” Amazing!
5. Take action. Any action. Regardless of how small you perceive it to be, just do it. This sounds simple, but at times I am stifled by this and the push to produce. Focus on progress, not perfection. Process, not product. Writing one paragraph every day is better than spending a lifetime thinking about writing a book.
6. Get over yourself, get out of your own way, and stop caring about what others think. This might be my biggest challenge. Facing my fears and anxieties, and staring my insecurity dead in the eyes every single day is a battle I am slowly winning. To help with this process, see lesson #3 and #4.
I’m not so much writing this piece to give anyone any advice as much as I am to share my story and to illustrate that as hard as it seems at times, you do have a choice and that you are enough. So, leave your job to follow your passion if you think that’s what you need to do. But be clear on what you are seeking and what you are willing to do and/or sacrifice in order to find it. When you dig down a little deeper, your situation might be more about setting boundaries, making healthier choices, or simply an opportunity to learn something about yourself as opposed to making a radical change. That’s the beauty of it – it’s your life and you get to live it.
And, that’s all I am doing. Living my life. And it’s a good one. A really good one. The past year has been a journey like no other and I can’t wait to begin this next leg of the trip. So, instead of giving advice, I’d rather shout out “who’s coming with me!”